I often get messages from concerned parents regarding why their child is not progressing or progressing fast enough. They see other children in the same class moving up levels while their child sits in the same class term on term. I appreciate that it can be a very frustrating time for all involved including the children themselves.
We can't make children progress, there is nothing more harmful to a child and damaging to trust in a relationship then when a child is forced to do something they don't want to do. Most of the time it is not because they are not physically able to perform the task at hand but because they lack confidence in doing so. Given support and opportunity, knowledge and tools they will progress when they are ready.
Learning to swim is no different to any of those other developmental milestones we are so keen for our children to achieve. Let's look at learning to walk for example, some children will walk as early as 7 months, others not until they are nearly 2. We can't force a child to walk, they will do it when they are ready. At the same time if we keep that child 'restrained' during their early years and don't give them the opportunity to practice chances are their walking will be delayed.
Our job is to provide these children with an environment where they feel safe, give them the knowledge and tools they need to complete the task, then let them try and keep trying till they get it.
There are a few things we can do however, to urge these children along...
Rewards System - What is their currency? Find out what they want most in this world then set an end goal. On their path toward that goal, break the goal up into smaller achievable skills that have equally smaller rewards.
Consider discussing trialing the child in the next level up regardless their apparent readiness. Sometimes the only thing holding them back is the company that they are keeping. Perhaps being with peers who are swimming at that next level may encourage them to step outside of their comfort zone and give it a go.
Exposure, exposure, exposure. Have you noticed the kids who have a pool in the backyard are more confident than most who don't. Have you noticed how when a child goes on holiday for a week to a water destination, they return 1000 times more confident than when they left. I'm not suggesting extra lessons, I'm suggesting opportunities for water exploration. The more, the better.
Lead by Example - I've talked to so many mums over the years about where their child's deep-seated fear of water may come from. Sometimes, there is a specific traumatic incident that has occurred, which may or may not seem innocuous to most but has clearly impacted the child, other times there is nothing. But when you dig a little deeper it is not uncommon to find that one or both parents can't swim, or, have a fear of the water themselves. Even more simply some parents just don't like putting their face in or getting their hair wet... Is that child expected to display more bravery than their parents? That is a big ask.
Discuss fears and outcomes. If the child is old enough sometimes you can discuss how rational their fears are and work through them. I always like to propose the question - 'what is the worst thing that can happen right now?'. For every response you need a counter to explain to them why that isn't going to happen or what we can do about it. It's all about showing an understanding of their fear, empathizing, rationalizing then gaining enough trust from them to give it a go.
When all else fails, be patient, trust the process and accept that in time it will come. But please dont 'restrain' them. Persevere...
